Do you know what this “nothing” means? Absolutely nothing, in the truest sense of the word. Some boxes and old blankets that he had found and attached were his “sofas.” He said about them:
– I specially ordered these sofas from France, from Louis! – so he told us laughingly.
At first, when we went to him, since I was young, he said to me:
– For you, pop, I have a special chair, you sit there because it is special, and I hold it for official guests!
And what do you think it was? The box was covered with a blanket, and another blanket was nailed to the wall so that you would not be cold when you lean against it.
He had nothing, the icons were paper, inserted in cellophane, there was a stool instead of a table; The old man put a board on his knees and wrote on it. Poverty. He didn’t have anything, not because he couldn’t, but because he didn’t want it. If he wanted, he would be rich, a millionaire – if he wanted, but he did not want it. All his goodness was placed in one chest, where there was a little bean, simple rice and what was sometimes worn from monasteries: some dried fruit or Turkish delight, which he treated visitors to. No pans, nothing, that is, those things that for us are self-evident, were a luxury for him.
Once the old man prepared tea for one person – what do you think? In a canned food can. Remember, grandmothers once did that? He put a few pieces of grass into it and brewed tea, and then, when he poured it into another can, all the tea leaves fell out. The man went and bought him a sieve, and he said to him:
– But, my child, why did you bring it? Do we wish luxury now?
– Geronda, one tea strainer – is it a luxury? So that tea leaves do not get into tea … What is this luxurious?
And he answered:
– Why did you bring it? Now I will have to wash it, I will need a nail to hang it, a hammer to nail it, I will have to take care of it … Why do I need all this stuff? You take this your strainer, I do not need it, I do not want it.
Such simple things were a luxury to him. But I confess to you that I would exchange all the salons in the world for this cell, infinitely poor, modest, which, however, was full of God, even the dust in it – everything in it was filled with God.
I was told what some people from America had done: they went and took a rag, about which the elder wiped his shoes, before entering the cell, cut it into many pieces and distributed them to people, and they faithfully and reverently kept this rag , with which he wiped his feet, and miracles were performed. So you say to yourself: this is what God’s man means! Even the dust from his feet will be honored.
So who succeeded now? Whether the one who lived in the palaces and the memory of him perished, and it is unknown whether even children remember him — or this extremely poor, uneducated ascetic in the middle of the mountains, who, however, was filled with blessing from God with happiness, optimism, the former like a source from which happiness and joy exuded? And we all walked, like all suffering people, drank and were saturated with this water, flowing from this poor man, who often had nothing to eat.
I remember once, when I went to Thessaloniki, I bought some dry milk for the old man, because he had problems with his stomach, and brought him to him.
– What is it?
– Geronda, for your stomach! A little water and a spoonful of powder – and it turns out milk!
– Well, leave it over there!
After a year or two, I had to do something there and found a bag of milk in the same corner. He did not even open it, did not touch it. The way I bought it, so it was.
“Geronda blessed, did you leave it there?”
And he answered me:
– If I wanted it, I would have bought it myself! I did not ask you to bring it to me!
“I don’t have it, not because I can’t, but because I don’t want it, I decided that my life would be like that. If I wanted to, I could live differently. ”
This, naturally, I am not saying so that we imitate him, because, probably, in the world where we live, we don’t need and we can’t even do such things because of our obligations. But let our heart be free, wise, and we need to learn what matters in our lives: for ultimately only God matters.
You say: “I did not succeed in one thing, did not succeed in the other, did not become what I wanted.” Why do you want this? All this is transient, vain. Achieve what has value. Have you attained God? Do you have God in your heart? Do you have the expectation of the kingdom of God? That is what has value. And everything else – for a short time.
Well, add everything else, and what happened? Those who have should be as not having. You will not be with this for long, you will lose it, you will not have it all your life. Even the most expensive things, even they will not be with you in the hour of your difficulty. God is here Who will be with you always, you need Him, you need Christ. We will look for Him.”
Metropolitan Athanasius of Limassol