Still in a discernment process. Again in lock down. Only now inside a monastery. Glory to God for all things. Counting the cost… whether I have enough to finish it … (Luke 14:28) It is this all that makes all the difference. “Whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:33)
Your prayers
PS1. Today, one of my obediences was gardening, and guess what it was: climbers!
ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN FAITH AND LIFE 
Lord have mercy on LCH!
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“Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, ‘If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, This man began to build and was not able to finish’? Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple. Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is neither fit for the land nor for the dunghill, but men throw it out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”
Luke 14:25-35
“ ‘…So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple…’ Beloved Orthodox Christian, as you read this Gospel passage, recall that we are professed to the Lord Jesus as our King and God. Then, with sober mind and heart also recall that whenever Satan seeks to entice you and me away from the Lord, he does so by dazzling us with earthly joys, pleasures, and delights. But it is not so with Christ our God! No! Rather, He unmasks the dread cost of being His disciple: we are confronted from the moment that we unite ourselves to Him, to choose Him alone as our ‘first love,’ not our parents, not our wives and husbands, not our beautiful children, nor any of our loved ones. We are to prefer Jesus Christ above them all. To the many who flood into churches across the earth, He turns and says, ‘If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple’.
We need to always count the cost; I find myself in these evil days in which we live, very concerned about the politics; I fret over the evil that goes on around us and fail to remember that ALL is taken care of by out Lord; my concerns are in the wrong direction, not concerned is what is important, God’s will in our finite earthly life. There is a cost involved in being God’s disciple, we need to remain poor so that the Lord can enrich us with His riches; not the things that give us pleasure in this world, but the riches that are of the Spirit of God.
I like what St. Cyprian of Carthage says: “Mankind should love the things which are dear to Almighty God.”
I’ll add this wonderful passage from Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. They are the words of a drunkard (Marmeladov) whose addiction has driven his daughter into prostitution. In a drunken stupor he spits out his vision of the Last Judgment:
… “And Christ will judge and will forgive all, the good and the evil, the wise and the meek…And when He has done with all of them, then He will summon us, ‘You too come forth,’ He will say, ‘Come forth, ye drunkards, come forth, ye weak ones, come forth, ye children of shame!’ And we shall all come forth without shame and shall stand before Him. And He will say unto us, ‘Ye are swine, made in the image of the Beast and with his mark; but come ye also!’ And the wise ones and those of understanding will say, ‘O Lord, why dost Thou receive these men?’ And He will say, ‘This is why I receive them, O ye wise, this is why I receive them, O ye of understanding, that not one of them believed himself to be worthy of this.’ And He will hold out His hands to us and we shall fall down before Him…and we shall weep…and we shall understand all things! Then we shall understand all!…and all will understand, Katerina Ivanovna even…she will understand…Lord, Thy kingdom come!” And he sank down on the bench exhausted and helpless, looking at no one, apparently oblivious of his surroundings and plunged in deep thought. His words had created a certain impression; there was a moment of silence; but soon laughter and oaths were heard again.
And there is the problem for we who are caught up in the joys of this world; “soon laughter and oaths were heard again.” We are generally unable to concentrate on the cost.
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How true! We are generally unable to concentrate on the cost. Your prayers
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Thank you for this post and God be with you.
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Thank you for your prayers. Christ is in our midst
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I just received this reply I would like to share with all of you and was granted permission to do so:
“Discernment never ends. It is a ‘One Day At A Time’ process. Every day we begin again. And all we can discern is today who we will be before He Who Is. Be alone. Be Still. Be Honest. Continue to Continue. And, one of these days you will say what you need to hear. It seems like it has taken me forever to discern what I heard again for the first time this morning. This is Prayer.
Gordon James “Take my life and let me be a Living Prayer my God to Thee.”
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